外傷、虐待

やっと付いた。精神医学、弁護士、心理士、法臨床心理士、結婚カウンセラー、親戚、妻の友人、私の友人、計理士、皆は同じ事を私にいい続いていてやっと分かった、私は何年も受けていてわからなかった。今日提出した証拠で結論が出ました。皆さんは同じ意見と責任で動きます。しかし私を受けたダメージを良い「薬」と時間がかかる。その内、実行犯に鯔のつまりはくる。私は知りたくない気にもしない。今日それは普通の本能ですよって言われました。自分を受け怖めるのは苦しくても納得でもある、ある意味で好きでもある。それはそのままの私です。

The Protagonist ? Domestic Violence and Abuse the Untold Story

I wish to be very sensitive to the very special followers of my blog who I have been very moved by their journey through domestic violence and abuse. They know who they are as they were the first considerate and kind folk to respond to my blog whenI was stuck in Chicago…You know the place with big bathroom for my “Wheelchair” 😉

Today I had a very special conversation with an two experts who rattled my world and rocked my boat.The fist person was in your face and blunt…Mate that’s a lot of trauma and abuse regardless of who you might be weak, strong disabled, enabled…For me blank look, dear in the headlights reaction…The other person gave me a simple analogy….She said, “Who is the protagonist Iason? If my partner broke his leg and I help a lighter under his knee and he jumped and reacted with anger, pain and rage, would he be the perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse?” I said but I was taught that it was the other way round….Silence….recall…flashback…insight…

This is what was given to me to think about for later I have so much “evidence” that I can’t bear to look at…Wow where is my resilience? I tick all the boxes on this one but how to deprogram? I’m a clinician, but “heal thyself” is load of bullocks:

People are both perpetrators and receivers of Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Abuse. While the scholarly literature appears to imply that women more often experience incidence of domestic violence and abuse, there is also sufficient evidence to suggest that the prevalence of domestic violence and abuse is not gender biased. Men are less likely to report incidences of domestic violence and abuse than are women. 

The following warning signs of domestic violence and abuse are equally applicable to men and women,

• Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
• Rarely go out in public without their partner, or not go out at all.
• Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car. Or are confounded or confused about money matters outside of their immediate control

 

• Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
• Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
• Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

 

• Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
• Go along with everything their partner says and does.
• Assertiveness is called abuse by the perpetrator
• One or both partners have a clinical condition

 

Educational stress, study burden, and child psychopathology

Study burden is just like work related stress except that the impact on a child’s development is a public health concern and can border on abuse

I wish to draw your attention to the passion and contribution I have for the scholarship of research especially in relation to children’s issues. The following link to is to a research article that explores the underserved, unrecognised, and unacknowledged populations in the world we live in. But first  a note to the consumer of this research:

1. If you are a lay person in reading scholarly articles, just read the introduction and conclusion. Ask any questions and I will respond to any queries, comments, opinions, or concerns you might have. Speak your mind

2. If you are an avid consumer of scholarly rigorous research please read the whole article and feel free to respond with an attitude of constructive criticism. I commend anyone who would do so.

Here is the most recent article I have contributed to:

Educational Stress Scale for Adolescents

Friend or Pawn?

I heard a story today about a person who needed help with their children to get them to school, and an acquaintance offered their help. I asked if this parent had not the capacity to do so what you wish to do. They said of course they had the capacity… I asked,  why do accept the gift of  graciousness from another when you are confident, resourceful, and are so emphatic that you are capable of what you wish to do… . The person said because they wished to accept their kindness rather than use the capacity they said they had…

 

Trains are for the good times

Dear Elena, I agree with you about trains. When I was 9 yrs old my parents took my on a 1 week overhaul train ride some 2000km. We played cards together and ate when i was awake, I slept most of the time…I mean 90% of the time.

As an adult I have travelled from the Hokkaido to Kyushu by train many times. I agree that they are journeys of the senses… “scapes”; Landscapes, Culturscapes, Peoplescapes, Lifescapes, Escapes…

Yes trains are sensual….One of my first loves came true because of trains. We would travel 250km for each of us coming from opposite directions. We would meet at the station in the middle. Some days we would travel together and when we knew our final train journey was coming, I sang to her this song on the last Shinkansen from Nagoya to Yokohama some 25 years ago (Originally penned by Kristofersen):

Don’t look so sad, I know it’s over.
But life goes on, and this old world will keep on turning.
Let’s just be glad we had some time to spend together.
There’s no need to watch the bridges that we’re burning.

Hold your warm and tender body close to mine.
Hear the whisper of the raindrops,
Blowin’ soft against the window,
And make believe you love me one more time,
For the good times.

I’ll get along; you’ll find another,
And I’ll be here if you should find you ever need me.
Don’t say a word about tomorrow or forever,
There’ll be time enough for sadness when you leave me.

Lay your head upon my pillow.
Hold your warm and tender body close to mine.
Hear the whisper of the raindrops,
Blowin’ soft against the window,
And make believe you love me one more time,
For the good times.

I was 20 at the time…Keep dancing ! Keep living ! Make your Papa proud !http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvlJygCubmI

I miss my children

Document1

A stool

Here is a stool. It’s strong and sturdy, it was put together through trail and error over 2 days.
This is a seat of triumph. Put together through trial and error. Despite distractions it is a seat to sit on. Despite dyslexia the legs point down and the back rest supports one’s back instead of pointing down and ending up a towel rack. It’s not bolted to the ceiling either 😉

So I invite anyone who is weary and needs rest to sit upon my seat of triumph even before I do.

No Entry, move on

For 2 years I was banished to an under construction building behind my family home. I was banned from visiting Japan. I travelled 12,000miles across the USA to find a new life for my family. That didn’t work. I worked hard to gather enough money to provide a new house for my family, my partner backed out if the agreement after I just started to move in. Now I’m confronted with obstacles with a no access policy to my house and can’t meet the financial costs of the new house.

It was to be a place of love, learning, the pursuit of joy through knowledge and creativity. Time to move on with the shirt on my back, a couple of laptops, and a song in my heart.
You’ll never walk alone