Category Archives: Understanding my world
Underwear and the ADHD brain: Star Trek The awakening
Captain ‘s log, Stardate 2013, strange circumstances have occurred with tight fitting Calvin Klein underwear. While the situation was critical, I commended to the crew:
“what’s the time?”
……
“Underwear”
“Mmmmm f€¥ck…..Celvin Klein”
…..
Mmmm roomy. !
Red alert from Engineering!, “Captain, we’ve too much room in the front , and a “Y” anomaly at the back”
“Gusset !”
“aye Captain, ye be right I”d say”. “I’ve just ran the sensor around the rear, and I swear there’s a definite “Time-space Y-anomaly back there!
“Scottie! Reroute gusset to the front immediately!
“Engineering to the bridge!”
” Go ahead Mr. Scott”
“Captain that’s got us out of trouble for now, dunno how much longer she will take it, but you should be feelin a wee bit more support at the front!
“Thank you Mr. Scott, all bits of the Enterprise are now back to normal
“Bones to Jim”
“Yes Bones go ahead.
“Jim! take you’re medication, or I’ll have no other choice but to beam you to Sick-Bay”
“Bones there’s no TP man!
” God damn Jim! I’m a Doctor not an ass wiping nurse maid!
” Captain according to my calculations, human emotion is dis-regulated,
and logic would suggest taking the Doctor’s advice, and finding alternative ass wiping technology”“Acknowledged, Mr. spoke. Set a course for the ensuite toilet galaxy. ”
” Engage warp 9, and have medical stimulant’s replicated there.Captain’s log. We will continue on our current course. James T. Phdbutadhd
“….End of log entry….”
Single malt…but why? An ADHD moment…
After flicking through some random photos I took last year in the States, I came across this random click of some single malt. Couldn’t quite recall why I took it until by chance I zoomed in. Seems that a beer has been named after me…Oh and was pointed out to me this morning, one after my friend Pohmie P…
The Protagonist ? Domestic Violence and Abuse the Untold Story
I wish to be very sensitive to the very special followers of my blog who I have been very moved by their journey through domestic violence and abuse. They know who they are as they were the first considerate and kind folk to respond to my blog whenI was stuck in Chicago…You know the place with big bathroom for my “Wheelchair” 😉
Today I had a very special conversation with an two experts who rattled my world and rocked my boat.The fist person was in your face and blunt…Mate that’s a lot of trauma and abuse regardless of who you might be weak, strong disabled, enabled…For me blank look, dear in the headlights reaction…The other person gave me a simple analogy….She said, “Who is the protagonist Iason? If my partner broke his leg and I help a lighter under his knee and he jumped and reacted with anger, pain and rage, would he be the perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse?” I said but I was taught that it was the other way round….Silence….recall…flashback…insight…
This is what was given to me to think about for later I have so much “evidence” that I can’t bear to look at…Wow where is my resilience? I tick all the boxes on this one but how to deprogram? I’m a clinician, but “heal thyself” is load of bullocks:
People are both perpetrators and receivers of Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Abuse. While the scholarly literature appears to imply that women more often experience incidence of domestic violence and abuse, there is also sufficient evidence to suggest that the prevalence of domestic violence and abuse is not gender biased. Men are less likely to report incidences of domestic violence and abuse than are women.
The following warning signs of domestic violence and abuse are equally applicable to men and women,
- Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
- Rarely go out in public without their partner, or not go out at all.
- Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car. Or are confounded or confused about money matters outside of their immediate control
- Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
- Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
- Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
- Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
- Go along with everything their partner says and does.
- Assertiveness is called abuse by the perpetrator
- One or both partners have a clinical condition
A stool
Here is a stool. It’s strong and sturdy, it was put together through trail and error over 2 days.
This is a seat of triumph. Put together through trial and error. Despite distractions it is a seat to sit on. Despite dyslexia the legs point down and the back rest supports one’s back instead of pointing down and ending up a towel rack. It’s not bolted to the ceiling either 😉
So I invite anyone who is weary and needs rest to sit upon my seat of triumph even before I do.
20 000 miles, a boat trip, and moped the floor
If you asked me what I did over the last 2 or so months, this is this answer:
I flew from the Southern Hemisphere to the USA, stopped in Hawaii, went on to Chicago, drove from Chicago to Kansas City, from Kansas to St. Louis, then onto Athens, Ohio, then north Columbus Ohio, then to streetsborough, then back down to Dayton and then north again…
On the way I had some struggles, some time to think, and a lot more time to think. When I got home my next challenge was to go to a Counselling session, find my GPS navigator and the cable to run the damn thing…had to get myself on a boat to see my kids for a day…got myself there and got myself back….
And then I mopped the floor…
Why? I wanted to find a new job, have something called “work life” balance (that don’t mean much to folks with ADHD…only if there’s less to balance 😉 and be with my kids and watch them have fun…we did have fun we grew some crystals with a chemistry set and played CB hide-n-seek with some cool transceivers I have…
So at the end on this day my journey has brought me to mopping the floor…You may ask what happened with the Job…well I haven’t got the right help to get that darn job ( and there’s a beauty just waiting for me to put in the right stuff for the application) …
If it’s going to be then the help I need will come…for now here’s my floor
Anniversary
Have you ever spent your wedding anniversary alone? Even when you had something planned, but couldn’t make it because your not as able as others?
This is how I’m spending my anniversary. No wife no children. I did my best to get to them and spend a holiday on a beautiful sub-tropical island. There is one consolation though, I called my wife and asked her if she and the kids are enjoying themselves. She said yes we’re having a great time.
I’m glad they are. And it goes to show that you don’t have to be together if one of you enjoys their anniversary without the other.
So this year is a sucky anniversary for me, but 3 others are enjoying themselves. That’s 1 sucky anniversary + 3 having a great anniversary which cancels out the negative 🙂
I hope they continue to have a great time and I’m waiting for some photos too!
Home and New Rules
Home at last, home at last. Here’s my wife’s new rules that are prerequisite to continuing our relationship:
1. I am the only person who needs to change of which I am solely responsible
2. No negative comments or any kind of criticism, constructive criticism or otherwise.
3. I must make more effort to understand how she feels. No request can be made for the same for me. This is impossible because she must protect herself.
4. When I am upset I must deal with it myself by removing myself from the home environment, or the kids will be effected
5. I must wait to be invited to engage in any conversations or family activities. My wife must focus solely on study and the children.
6. Despite my difficulties in self-regulation I must make a greater effort to control those feelings.
7. I must study more on how to control myself and reduce relying on other people to assist me. They shouldn’t have to feel responsibility to help me.
8. I must not interrupt when being spoken to. My wife will decide if I am allowed the chance to voice my opinion.
Strict adherence to the above rules will make our relationship more intimate, rewarding and satisfying.
So this is my return-to-home challenge. Please wish me luck!
Related articles
- Taking Constructive Criticism Like a Champ (thedailymuse.com)
- How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Relationship (kidzedge.com)
- Luke 1:19-25 Silence Is Golden (yourfaithhashealedyou.wordpress.com)
Act don’t yak: or you loose. Let me Show you my world.
Why ADHD doesn’t define me or my children or my family, but makes total sense to me why I have compassion for those who don’t quite understand…You’ve got something I don’t, will you let me show you my world?
Here’s how I’m going to compensate for my disorder; I’m going to let someone else explain it for me. Just like I do when I work as a Japanese-English interpreter:
JMD's PhD and ADHD 