Home and New Rules

Home at last, home at last. Here’s my wife’s new rules that are prerequisite to continuing our relationship:

1. I am the only person who needs to change of which I am solely responsible
2. No negative comments or any kind of criticism, constructive criticism or otherwise.
3. I must make more effort to understand how she feels. No request can be made for the same for me. This is impossible because she must protect herself.
4. When I am upset I must deal with it myself by removing myself from the home environment, or the kids will be effected
5. I must wait to be invited to engage in any conversations or family activities. My wife must focus solely on study and the children.
6. Despite my difficulties in self-regulation I must make a greater effort to control those feelings.
7. I must study more on how to control myself and reduce relying on other people to assist me. They shouldn’t have to feel responsibility to help me.
8. I must not interrupt when being spoken to. My wife will decide if I am allowed the chance to voice my opinion.

Strict adherence to the above rules will make our relationship more intimate, rewarding and satisfying.

So this is my return-to-home challenge. Please wish me luck!

 

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Almost home…

The Sun rises over my horizon to home

I set my watch 7:16am. I wanted to be on my final leg of my journey home but needed to get a prescription filled to cover me for the last couple of days to get home. At the exact time I was about to give up and go the last leg of journey without it, an SMS of encouragement came from my partner to go for it. She was right because travelling just becomes a labyrinth without it…And out of kindness and foresight she’d contacted the hotel and I was escorted to the doctor. After a 2 hour wait, I had my script with 30 mins to get to the Pharmacy, I ran on to the street and straight into the push and shove of the Pearl Harbour Memorial Parade. I made it to the Pharmacy, only to find out that the doctor had not filled the prescription out properly…Did I swear ? Well just a bit…So I thought how can i turn this around…I needed something to look forward to…With me out-of-the-way from home my partner has had the chance to enjoy her friends getting together for Girl’s nights out, and last night I just missed calling her after she headed out for her favourite combo, “Korean and Karaoke”… I love both too, especially Karaoke Japanese style…With your own private room. I asked if she thought it was ok for me to stay here another day or make my way to a 24 hr pharmacy, where another doctor might have been able to fix the script… What I really wanted was an invite from her to go to Karaoke when I got back. But we aren’t the dating types so much lately. It was too late for a reply from her anyway so I changed my flight…Looking out at the sun rising I know that just over that ocean home awaits. Onward and upward…It’s a beautiful day

Attention to time a Time Piece for attention

A watch you wind to remember time

The friend I spent time with over the past few days in Arizona has been a wealth of fellowship. We have much in common. My first non-Japanese friend when I first moved to Nagoya, Japan, back in the days when Japan was not a place that attracted workers or students from abroad…We studying Japanese together, worked together, and got up to some mischief together. During this time we spent many days visiting the “Watchman” store in Nagoya…3 floors of watches and clocks. You could spend anywhere between 500yen or 500,00yen…But why watches? Getting a handle on time is challenge for folks with ADHD. For me this more severe than most. So there is an attraction to devices that “show” in motion…

This friend of mine has a room that has 2 common features that we both value. A bookshelf for a personal library, and a bureau…

I was wearing a fob watch at the time, I have another at home, and one I gave to my son to remind him of the importance of “seeing time”… My friend pulled the drawer of the bureau open to reveal several “Time Pieces”…I call them Time Pieces because they are old-school…There’s something ceremonial about pulling a fob watch from your pocket to check them time…There must have been at least 20 magnificent fobs in his collection…My eyes lit up with excitement…And I was given one from his collection. He had 2 the same…And so I was given one… Amongst the excitement when he passed the watch to me he said,”What’s good about this piece is that you have to wind it everyday…” A watch without a battery !!!?? How cool !… I’m getting used to this now, and it has reminded me the importance of attention to time, even if I don’t perceive it like other folks do. To keep track and maintain attention to the perception of time. It’s the first thing I do when I awake in the morning now. An important start to the day is what time do I have left. I start by winding to remind me, and to remind me that there is friend many miles away seeing time move and appreciating the time we have now.